Min7 arpeggio

You can actually use both. The Bb may sound a little funky over the F7 because it’s the 4 doesnt work great over major chords. The #4 is more useable. But the Db/C# is an augmented 5th, the F is the root, and Ab is a b3, so that would give you an altered dominant sound of sorts, which wont sound great by itself, but if the chord changes to a Bb major, Bb minor, or moves to a Bb7 and you land on one of those chord tones of those when the chord changes, it’ll sound great. Also it’s a perfect 4th behind the F.
Although I DO think he meant the the 5th, Cmin7 because the playing the (v m7) over a (i m7) is pretty common and playing vm7-im7 can create harmonic movement over a static chord which is good. The notes from Cm7 give you C-5th, Eb-b7th, G-9, and Bb-4th. The C minor 7 basically outlines a mixolydian sound which is totally diatonic. The Bbmin7 gives you more of an “outside” jazzy, tense sound.
But another little bit of information is that a dominant 7th chord is naturally the V chord in a diatonic major key. So the major key for F7 is Bb major. You can use ANY of the notes of Bb major over an F7, which also means that you can use any chord or arpeggios from Bb major over the F7 and it will work. Here are all the possible chords from Bb major:
Bbmajor 7- Bb D F A
Cminor 7- C Eb G Bb
Dminor 7- D F A C
Ebmajor 7- Eb G Bb D
Fdominant 7- F A C Eb
Gminor 7- G Bb D F
Aminor7 b5- A C Eb G
Have fun experimenting!

I hear ya man. Honestly the best way, in my opinion, to think about it is- what chord am I on, how do all 12 notes relate to that chord, and where is that chord going. Then, whatever your starting chord is, thats your 1 or your root. The whole thing about C Major and A minor being the same or F major and D minor, is totally irrelevant. Thats why so many people learn modes like:
C- Ionian
D- Dorian
E- Phrygian……
and STILL have no idea what the modes are all about. The modes are just major, minor, and dominant scale with different flavors. The 1,3,& 7 define your tonality. The 9, 11, and 13 are all your colors. The 5 can also define things, but it’s mostly a color as well.
So moving forward, I would say to look at EVERY chord and see what you 1, 3, and 5 are and then fill in all the other notes how you like and what your ear is attracted to.

Also, as the great Dan Gilbert would say, “your new mantra is chord tone, chord scale, key center”. Those are kinda(but not limited to) your options for soloing and writing melodies.

You gotta watch out with the 7th though. The 3 and the 7 are what REALLY defines a chord and whether its major, minor, or dominant. Major 3rd & major 7th- Its a Major 7 tonality. Minor 3rd and minor 7th- its a Minor 7 tonality. Major 3rd and minor 7th- Its a dominant tonality. You can literally put everything you come up with in those 3 categories, if you wanna keep it super basic and simplified. This gives you tons of soloing options since any lick you can play over one minor chord, you can play over all the minor chords. Its the same with major 7s and dominant 7s.
Music does have more nuance than that and rules and do’s and dont’s, but I think this is a really good way to at least begin to understand musical movement.