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W

My first lyrics/song

Was supposed to upload a rough draft the other day. I wrote the lyrics in about 5 minutes after some bad times. I forced it out and tried not to use the same words too many times. I was using some other chords at first and wasn't satisfying. I used the riff I started early October and the melody changed. I need to practice changing it a little faster and more accurately. I feel awkward, but it's cool. I think the last part will be my chorus. It's a rough draft, but I'm happy how it's turning out. Some words I might change in the future, maybe you guys got some suggestions for structure or anything really. I kind of want to try and finish this one day. \../, haha Kermit
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Reactions: idssdi, Andrew Tortora, Calvin Phillips and 6 others
C
The chord progression is really nice sounding. Im not sure what chords you're using but I like them a lot. The pattern is on going and never ending. Lasts the entire line of a verse without repeating. I really like it. Infact.. the way its written I don't think you NEED the chorus in the beginning. The way you laid it out was great. Its like verse 1 turn around (blues like) repeat verse pre chorus verse and chorus. Seems like a boring lay out.. but honestly it works well because your progression is so busy with all the chord changes it keeps it interesting.

I think you pretty much wrote the song that we could collab on if you so do choose to. We could always write a new one too. Your first song should really be your own.
 
Reactions: William B.
W
I'm scared to share it tbh, I made the chord progression with one blue emotion and the lyrics with another from different times. Maybe we could create a whole new one together, exchange ideas and combine them. I'm still going to mess with this song, probably tomorrow again with a beat. I have more stuff I want to add, give it more structure and make it electric. It's probably going to sound different tomorrow. I need to fix the structure of the chords a little more, maybe I'll try to write a solo. It was developing more as I was playing it in this video.
I'm glad you liked it, gonna work on this and the contest riff.
 
C
The more you play it the better it'll flow. The best way to write the song is to let the song go where it wants to go..only way to know is to play it. Every song and solo I write comes that way.
 
Reactions: William B.
Wow this is gonna sound sick with distortion too great job dude. Have you thought about adding like a vocal harmony or sm like that? If you ever want to really go nuts and flesh this out I'd def be down to help if you need any. I might have a mic somewhere I could send if you need too lol
 
Reactions: William B.
W
I don't know what that stuff is, I was working on it just now, it's turning out pretty cool. Not exactly how I want it, but I'm learning how to do all the settings in DAW. A lot of things to learn, I'd like to hear your ideas, right now it sounds different from this video. Not sure if it will influence the direction of the song, it's my first one, probably not gonna be the best it could be.
 

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William B.
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