Help me in this solo

First of all your cover sounds really good! In the beginning I could not understand what you don’t like about your cover.
But I think in some places you do not hit the notes exactly at the right time. And I guess that’s why you don’t like it.
In these two parts (0:16-0:19 & 0:23-0:28) I could hear that you are getting a little bit out of the tempo. But the rest sounds fantastic to me!
To your question how you can improve yourself:
Just take a metronome and play these parts slowly. Than gradually increase the tempo

the part from 0:22 needs work. Its a truly difficult pattern to play at such high tempo. But once you nail that absolutely beat by beat, it would sound a lot better. rest sounds perfect to me

sounds great! I dont know this solo so i gave it a listen. Like others said it was out of time at some stages, but only by a second or so, so this is an easy fix if you really knuckle down and focus on it. As Jak said, a little more attack in your picking will add attitide and a heavy, thick tone to your playing, which will help you with alot of metallica songs. Also, when you first begin a new “section” of the solo (if u know what i mean) you are sloppy on the first not or two and then its as smooth as anything.
Overall, a great cover with some minor issues, but I would be very happy if I were you, this is great work! It’s just little things like the ones explained above which turns something from good to great. This was a great, great cover tho!