J
Jak Angelescu
Guest
Hey everyone,
This is a LITTLE hard for me to say. But after my own post about ‘beginner’s mental block’ and the comments that followed, I’ve been inclined to kind of take my own advice and get something off my chest.
Annelene, a VERY dear friend of mine here on the school, randomly wrote me today and said “Hey, are you ok?” I honestly didn’t know how to respond to it. She said, “I just notice how much you help people out. And I was wondering if you were ok yourself.” Because honestly, I kind of was but then I kind of wasn’t.
Some things have been hard for me. I have to admit. Although I try my hardest to push everyone and encourage everyone, nothing came crashing down on me harder than the last two weeks. For the last year nearly, I had been having loads of people on my Instagram writing me and some commenting saying “You should do your own stuff!” Some others would say, “I can’t wait to hear your originals!”
And then I go to announce our studio time, and it really seems like no one in my family, immediate social circle, or social media cares except a few. I got so excited. I really did. I go so excited to show the world my 14 year-long dream coming to fruition. Lord knows that when I post up anything A7X related, it gets HUNDREDS of views, HUNDREDS of likes, and dozens of message responses and comments. Yet I go to post my own stuff up? Crickets. Except a few times there were a couple of comments.
This hurts really badly. To give so much out to so many others and to see practically crickets on your own hard work? It hurts. It really, really does. I had another student write me and say “For everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I can do is support you back.”
It’s so hard for me to write this post because it can easily come off like I’m being selfish, whiny, entitled, not getting enough attention, etc. But it’s really not that at all.
It just hurts to invest literally over 300 hours into everyone else to help them with the online lessons, writing them back, making personalized videos to help them, pushing them HARDER AND HARDER to take it more seriously here, waking up and the first thing I do is respond to questions, only to get nothing in response. I so often have people writing me things like “Hey watch my video. Come follow me.” But hardly ever do those people say, “Congratulations on your album endeavors!”
A person can only handle so much of that. So with this being said, one thing I’d like to say and one thing I’d like to ask. And this isn’t geared at anyone, just me coming into myself.
1. I feel so disgusted with the obsessive A7X following I get, that I don’t know if I will really post A7X related covers anymore except on here. Things like wishing the boys a happy birthday is fine. But I really want to be my own person. And I got a message from someone saying, “You know if you made a YouTube channel where it was nothing but A7X solos, you’d actually get more interest.” I have NO clue how I was suppose to handle that. All I know, is that it came off like a big red flag to me. I love Syn SO much, but I just can’t walk in his shadow if I’m going to go my own way.
2. Would you guys mind if I posted our little journey videos here? Everyone really cares about EVERYTHING people do here. From newborn children, to getting married, to stresses at school. I was hoping I could post our little album work videos here. Things like our practice discussions, or the awesome announcement of finally choosing a drummer. You all are seriously the pyramid my dreams are being built on, and it would mean a lot if I could.
I hope this didn’t come off strange. But I had to get my thoughts off my chest. I love you all, VERY VERY much. For those of you here who have been my legs, my backbone, my voice, my support, I love you all. But I just have to change where I place my attention now.
Goodnight,
Jak
This is a LITTLE hard for me to say. But after my own post about ‘beginner’s mental block’ and the comments that followed, I’ve been inclined to kind of take my own advice and get something off my chest.
Annelene, a VERY dear friend of mine here on the school, randomly wrote me today and said “Hey, are you ok?” I honestly didn’t know how to respond to it. She said, “I just notice how much you help people out. And I was wondering if you were ok yourself.” Because honestly, I kind of was but then I kind of wasn’t.
Some things have been hard for me. I have to admit. Although I try my hardest to push everyone and encourage everyone, nothing came crashing down on me harder than the last two weeks. For the last year nearly, I had been having loads of people on my Instagram writing me and some commenting saying “You should do your own stuff!” Some others would say, “I can’t wait to hear your originals!”
And then I go to announce our studio time, and it really seems like no one in my family, immediate social circle, or social media cares except a few. I got so excited. I really did. I go so excited to show the world my 14 year-long dream coming to fruition. Lord knows that when I post up anything A7X related, it gets HUNDREDS of views, HUNDREDS of likes, and dozens of message responses and comments. Yet I go to post my own stuff up? Crickets. Except a few times there were a couple of comments.
This hurts really badly. To give so much out to so many others and to see practically crickets on your own hard work? It hurts. It really, really does. I had another student write me and say “For everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I can do is support you back.”
It’s so hard for me to write this post because it can easily come off like I’m being selfish, whiny, entitled, not getting enough attention, etc. But it’s really not that at all.
It just hurts to invest literally over 300 hours into everyone else to help them with the online lessons, writing them back, making personalized videos to help them, pushing them HARDER AND HARDER to take it more seriously here, waking up and the first thing I do is respond to questions, only to get nothing in response. I so often have people writing me things like “Hey watch my video. Come follow me.” But hardly ever do those people say, “Congratulations on your album endeavors!”
A person can only handle so much of that. So with this being said, one thing I’d like to say and one thing I’d like to ask. And this isn’t geared at anyone, just me coming into myself.
1. I feel so disgusted with the obsessive A7X following I get, that I don’t know if I will really post A7X related covers anymore except on here. Things like wishing the boys a happy birthday is fine. But I really want to be my own person. And I got a message from someone saying, “You know if you made a YouTube channel where it was nothing but A7X solos, you’d actually get more interest.” I have NO clue how I was suppose to handle that. All I know, is that it came off like a big red flag to me. I love Syn SO much, but I just can’t walk in his shadow if I’m going to go my own way.
2. Would you guys mind if I posted our little journey videos here? Everyone really cares about EVERYTHING people do here. From newborn children, to getting married, to stresses at school. I was hoping I could post our little album work videos here. Things like our practice discussions, or the awesome announcement of finally choosing a drummer. You all are seriously the pyramid my dreams are being built on, and it would mean a lot if I could.
I hope this didn’t come off strange. But I had to get my thoughts off my chest. I love you all, VERY VERY much. For those of you here who have been my legs, my backbone, my voice, my support, I love you all. But I just have to change where I place my attention now.
Goodnight,
Jak