@Andrei Moraru I'll check out the book. Thank you for the recommendation. I've at least heard the point about listing priorities. Although a large part of the anxiety is not actually knowing which has the higher priority. Work has the highest but honestly I hate what I do and there's no room for change until this contract is over in a few more years. However it is a need and it has many AMAZING benefits. I've only just now in the last month figured a path that I'd much rather take instead of this crappy job.
Past that I haven't figured out what's the priority. As far as the arts go, I draw and play guitar as a means of fun. But my ambition and being surrounded here by amazing players leads me to always seem more and it's hard to keep sight of what's fun.
It definitely feels like I have so much I want to do and yet not enough time off to do it. So I'll really meditate on what you were saying with picking out priorities.
No one said it's going to be easy. If you hate what you do (welcome to the club), then maybe a mindset shift might help. You might feel that work is important because everyone around you says that it's the be-all-end-all of things. I tried to view myself as a software developer for seven years. I am not a software developer. Never have been, never will be. Sure, I worked software development jobs and I want to work them because you know, I kinda have to eat.
But I no longer view myself as a software developer. I can't think like one, I DETEST hustle culture, I detest frameworks that have new releases every 6 months. So I finally came to peace with the fact that I am not a software developer. I want to make music, I want to be a musician. Now that I know that, I can view software development as a side thing, that I use to fund my main goal.
You might view things differently and that's ok. What I want to say is that you will need some alone time, no distractions, no nothing, in which to think this through. What I did when I tried figuring this out is to go on walks during my lunch break after I've eaten in order to be able to tune out and block all the chit chat from my office.
I hope you get what I'm saying. The tl;dr version is that you need to figure this out on your own, in whatever spare time you can muster. No one knows what's more important to you other than yourself.