That's a brave share, my friend. It's hard, especially for guys, to be open and vulnerable. Maybe your generation is better at it than mine. I certainly know mine is better at it than my father's generation - they don't call them "The Silent Generation" for nothing.
Either way, that's progress. I wish you all the strength and love you can manage on your journey. Your friends and family here are rooting for you.
Peace and love, brother, even if you DO want me to choke on my dreams.